I don’t think it was until I was almost seventeen that I decided to stop actively arguing and being annoyed with my mother. I don’t know why I behaved that way, I’m not really sure why any teenager goes through the phase of “they just don’t get me”, because it isn’t just puberty. I’m not sure what changed to make me stop, but I think I realized that it wasn’t helping my stress levels and it made home really lonely with me and her and a huge rift in between us. I hate making the first move, which might be a matter of pride, but either way I attempted to change my attitude and actually spoke to her like a friend. I started actually telling her about my day, and was honest with her about how I felt and I really think it has changed my life for the better.
People say that your parents only want what’s best for you, or “they only have your best interest at heart” and you brush it off, because generally it isn’t true. But, I had a long talk with my mother today and she really listened. That doesn’t sound like anything spectacular but after a life of feeling ignored and unworthy, having someone to just listen to you means everything. I told her about all my problems, with some extreme ugly crying, and she knew what to say. I know now that she wants what’s best for me, and if I do fuck up, she’ll still be there. Friends first, mother-daughter second? Maybe this is the key.